Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Aku dan Buasir

Suatu hari aku berkenalan,
dgn makhluk yg bernama buasir,
datangnya bila selalu ada duit,
makan kari, kepala ikan, daging landak dan durian.
Kadang2 dia hilang, dia takut dgn senser,
tapi kenapa tak semua kena?
dengar ramai yg kena geng2 dualam
aku bukan....

Punya la sakit, semua nak keluar....
ku buang dia merayu, ku pegang dia merintih,
ohhh buasir ku

I challenge you Minister

Once upon a time in Boleland, there was a sitcom about two ministers and a prime minister (normally of the same portfolio but due to over supply of capable ministers, we had to have two - one to teach school kids on how to speak eloquently (and swear sweet profanity), calculate interest rates and draw graffiti and get to university; and second to get this school kids have a decent diploma or degree education and learn how to run Boleland).

The prime minister asked what is this cluster of school programme that is supposedly super good that the education minister is propogating. The prime minister also asked the minister of higher education whether he has a similar programme or not?

"I challenge you YB minister of education to improve the quality of students so that the minister of higher education can have better supply of graduates!!! I dont care whether you cluster or not cluster..." said the prime minister

"Dont worry sir, sir, mr prime minister...I will make sure that this happen!" replied the minister of education in his typical-time-delayed-saliva propelled voice. The minister of higher education then said "I also have same programme la..but not in cluster form..but still confident can make good graduates from whatever supplied to me..hadhari or not hadhari"

The prime minister then said to the two of them: "Ok..ok..but kalau ya pun..put down la the keris..I rasa I tak tidor lagi.. but cluster programme ni hadhari ka?"

Both ministers smiled wryly and said "Yes prime minister, we take your challenge..."

Monday, January 8, 2007

Excuse me sir, are you the Prime Minister?

Every now and then, every nation seeks to understand their leader, especially their numero uno President or Prime Minister. Typical in most democracy, the entity known as the supreme leader is expected to show leadership. The people seek his guidance, attentively listen to his ideas and monitor his action. Whether the leader likes it or not, the people under him wants him to be everything - father, uncle, teacher, tok guru, business leader, brother, general, warlord etc.

So when a leader lacks charisma, does not revel in issues, not fiery enough, too nice, does not or perceived not to bring new ideas, goes with the flow, the people gets fidgety. Nervous.

Thou shalt not wear diapers and sleep during meetings..thou shall watch where his fingers go..and thou shall not buy boats..

Jenglot : A definition

According to the annals of pseudo Malay dictionary, Jenglot (pronounced jeng-lot) is a mythical mammal like-being believed to be short in stature, with no hair, and has the uncanny ability to smell, detect, follow, determine any nuances relating to money, materialism, wealth and any other hedonistic subjects or matters.

Why the fascination with jenglots? Well, if it is under your command, it can be your loyal soldiers that will perform your lot. You can pretty much maim, kill, hurt and make others subservient to your whims and desires. Women are also fascinated with jenglots because of its cute and cuddly nature, and more importantly jenglots listen to this women (besides the fact that jenglots can perform cunninglingus really well...well they are so loyal that they will stay down there).

Where can you find these jenglots? According to the annals of a pseudo Malay dictionary (yes the same publication), jenglots can be found in the jungles of Kuala Ketil and Kodiang. But another sub-breed can be found at the Riverbank, PWTC.

Poligamy

I dont understand what is the big fuss about poligamy. You want to do it, you do it. I dont need no professor or ngos to tell me what I can or cannot do. Poligamy is about relationship. It is about between a man and a woman, and another woman, and another woman. The fact is you can be poligamous. My two cents say it is a matter of the heart, a socio-cultural sub plot that should not be subjugated to holier than thou moralistic guises nor obliged to explain itself.

Poligamy

I dont understand what is the big fuss about poligamy. You want to do it, you do it. I dont need no professor or ngos to tell me what I can or cannot do. Poligamy is about relationship. It is about between a man and a woman, and another woman, and another woman. The fact is you can be poligamous. My two cents say it is a matter of the heart, a socio-cultural sub plot that should not be subjugated to holier than thou moralistic guises nor obliged to explain itself.